The human in the other chair

I’ve come to this work later in life, which I believe puts me in a better position to help you.

James Hollis, the Jungian therapist, says we spend the first part of life adapting to what we were given and the second part finding what was lost or missing. It is in the integration of our splintered parts that we find a wholeness that transcends their individual limitations, whilst also honouring them as unique and valuable in their own right.  This feels very true of my own journey.  It’s been painful and frustrating at times, it’s taken ages and I’m not done with it yet. Hollis also talks about heeding the call of what the world is asking of you, which is why I’m here.

Initially I trained as a visual artist, then as an actor, which gave me two professions where it’s tough to make a living, though I did manage it at times.  I’ve taught in schools, managed staff, run a catering and team building business, as well as an assortment of crumby jobs to pay the rent. Around 16 years ago I started to work as a facilitator and have had the privilege to run programs with some of Australia’s most prominent organisations.

This led to training as a coach, which whilst eye opening and wonderful, had some serious limitations, most notably, to exclude working with trauma or anything like it.  Given that every stuck part or unloved and exiled aspect of self is a result of this (big T or little t trauma), it left me scratching my head. How are people supposed to reach their goals or even know what they want that will be fulfilling if they are coming from an under-resourced  place, frozen in time?

Through a number of serendipitous events, I met the director Gestalt Therapy Australia, Tony Jackson.  Within 10 minutes, I said to myself – “I want that”. Tony embodied everything I aspired to be – warm, honest, funny whilst also possessing great depth and radiating a presence that made everyone feel at home. I signed up on the spot.

Training was tough and required rigorous and sometimes brutal introspection, something I believe distinguishes Gestalt and earns that presence I so prized. It means that when you meet a Gestalt therapist, they have a deep understanding of themselves and what it means to be a human walking this earth.  It brings a humility, vulnerability and capacity to hold others’ experiences that I have rarely seen elsewhere.

Because I am a bowerbird, I’ve since trained in a range of other modalities that share lineage with Gestalt such as The Enneagram, Emotion Focused Therapy and Attachment Theory.  I also find my background as a creative person, once seen as something to be funded by other work, now has room to breathe inside this.

Outside the consulting room I’ve helped raise our son into an amazing young man amidst the chaos and uncertainty of the last 18 years. I’m frequently touched by his resilience, groundedness and open heart.  I continue to find ways to express myself creatively, love getting into nature, patting random dogs, cooking and sharing good conversation with friends and strangers alike.

I also get frazzled in traffic, worry about things, make mistakes, have regrets and generally think I should be far more along that path towards Jungian completeness than I currently am.

Like most of us, I’m a work in progress